With all the trials of marriage today, believers must look to the Holy Spirit for knowledge and understanding of what the word says about God’s grace, love, and truth, so they can walk in His light with one another as siblings before their heavenly Father. John 1:16-17 And of his fullness have all we received, and grace for grace. 17 For the law was given by Moses, but grace and truth came by Jesus Christ.
Life in this day is under God’s grace, a measure of His favor afforded to us through Christ. It is a favor unearned and not merited by anything we do. Only by what Jesus Christ has done is grace given to us, and it is not just something He has placed on us but something that we are to place upon others. 2 Cor 9:14 (AMP) And they yearn for you while they pray for you, because of the surpassing measure of God’s grace (His favor and mercy and spiritual blessing which is shown forth) in you.
There is a very big difference between grace and compromise in marriage. If grace does not manifest, then an ability to view the other as righteous is void because grace sees past any present faults. Spouses need to view themselves in the same perspective as God, where righteousness is in His presence by grace. He accepts you while working to change your nature, freeing you from any imperfections. Therefore, husbands and wives must work by the Holy Spirit to assist in this change process, which occurs in each of them. All the while, grace is toward each other, so the enemy does not influence the union.
Along with grace in marriage, there must be a sign of mutual love for one another (AGAPE)—a love that does not treat each other as passionate sexual partners but as His affectionate spiritual siblings who reveal the character of their Father. All this is in a family atmosphere where each is comforted and socializes with one another, even though they may not all think and act the same way. When I say comfortable, it is because they are, by the Holy Spirit, working out a salvation with fear and trembling. And they desire each other’s presence because He nurtures this love for one another due to their bond as a heritage and lineage in Christ. Phil 1:8-11 (NKJV) For God is my witness, how greatly I long for you all with the affection of Jesus Christ.
I know every family may not be in this manner of union, and some come from broken ones, but for your understanding of the truth, it happens when all things are spiritually right. The love Paul writes about in these scriptures is AGAPE, a God-kind of love that abounds more and more, even to its full extent of development. He is not talking about the affectionate love PHILEO seen in scripture, which occurs within a family’s natural social activity, but about love that comes from socially active spiritual siblings who will express Agape by the Spirit of God.
9And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in knowledge and all discernment, 10 that you may approve the things that are excellent, that you may be sincere and without offense till the day of Christ, 11 being filled with the fruits of righteousness which are by Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.
My following statement will conflict with many of you because of what pulpits have taught, but I believe the Holy Spirit will make it plain to you. Trying to form a social union with unbelievers does not provide the right spiritual atmosphere for developing the truth concerning AGAPE, as it is a love God is that is within us. A way to explain this is that it is like trying to season pepper with salt or, as the word says, like the righteous fellowshipping with the unrighteous, mixing Christ with the devil. 2 Cor 6:15 (AMP) What harmony can there be between Christ and Belial [the devil]? Or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever?
Many marriages in the body of Christ today are distorted spiritually in their thinking regarding the expression of Agape love to a spouse or other family members. Everyone in an intimate relationship with them (God/spouse/family) is the sole objective of such love, not the source or means of nurturing it, as that work belongs to the Holy Spirit. Fellowship with a son or daughter of God is to be with witness and testimony of Christ, revealing the nature and essence of God.
Math 22:37-40 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love (Agape) the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. 38 This is the first and great commandment. 39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love (Agape) thy neighbour as thyself. 40 On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets. (parenthesis added).
Believers must listen carefully to what the Holy Spirit says throughout all scripture. His witness to the sons and daughters of God is for perfection in the maturity of Agape. He is the only provider of it and the one fully versed in expressing it. 1 John 4:14-17 And we have seen and do testify that the Father sent the Son to be the Saviour of the world. 15 Whosoever shall confess that Jesus is the Son of God, God dwelleth in him, and he in God.
God is not fooling around with any of this; it is important enough for Him to reveal the spiritual truths we seek knowledge of, with the Holy Spirit promoting what is written. Therefore, we must accept the truth of it and begin to be who He says we are. 16 And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him. 17 Herein is our love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment: because as he is, so are we in this world.
The key principle for social interaction as members of the body of Christ is to be under the influence of the Holy Spirit to love one another. Scripture tells us God abides in us, and that alone should settle the issue of social interaction, whether as part of the Church body or in a marriage covenant. If God loves us, we have no excuse not to love one another. This principle revealed to believers is all about loving others by developing an Agape love in them. Since we have unearned favor with God, as we love Him as He loves us, we, as sons and daughters, have an unearned favor in our social behavior in the body of Christ and marriage.
Unfortunately, most husbands and wives are just like the body of Christ today, too willing to abstain from the truth about their spiritual siblings because one makes mistakes. Errors will occur, not by anything He or the Holy Spirit does, but by what we do. Rom 5:5 (AMP) Such hope never disappoints or deludes or shames us, for God’s love has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit Who has been given to us. Humanity is imperfect, and God knew that long before Christ went to the cross. The issue today is that everything Paul said before that verse is not accepted in denominations or marriages.
Rom 5:1 Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ: 2 By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 3 And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; 4 And patience, experience; and experience, hope: No one can separate you from God’s love; it is inherent and a vital part of His character and essence, revealed in what is natural for Him. But it needs to be natural for believers as they become perfect in it, when nurtured by the Holy Spirit.
Deut 4:24 For the LORD thy God is a consuming fire, even a jealous God. God’s jealousy desires us as His own. So, suppose you are married and born of God as His son or daughter, an heir to His promises. You must faithfully take your place in the family, expressing a jealous desire by the Holy Spirit for an intimate behavior by the Agape love in you. Your spiritual Father is God, the creator of all things, and He jealously desires your love and wants you, His child, to have relationships with spiritual truth with those who are as He is. Therefore, your marriage is the perfect place to nurture all this righteousness, grace, and love through the Holy Spirit and the truths He reveals from the word.
1 Cor 7:3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The ability of two gender spouses to render love that compares to the Father’s requires a forgiveness toward each other that reconciles all wrongs. It is not about a manner of thinking, but about the fact that each is due to such thinking in the other. In the previous verse, Paul meant this when discussing rendering due benevolence or righteous thinking. This is how God thinks about you, as He has reconciled all sins, faults, and errors in the life sacrifice of His Son.
So, if the one who is the most righteous in eternity can see us without error in a relationship with Him, why are believers still judging by it? Of course, none of this means you must change; it just means to be without judgment if you are changing. Spouses who never seem to forget the wrongs of their covenant partners always bring them into any present situation as a judge of the new error. If you are a believer, you need to think about this in light of the truth, not what any pulpit has said. God does not bring up all our old sins every time we commit a new one; His judgments are based on righteousness, bound by grace, and backed by a love (Agape) that will not fail. Proverbs 10:12 Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins.
For God to judge by past errors, He would have to love us in a manner that is affectionate in its foundation and emotionally exhorting toward us. But that is not the truth the Holy Spirit reveals. A statement revealing a love covenant union is the same as the Lord’s love for them, Agape. John 13:34-35 A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. 35 By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.
Believers, most especially married ones, must see themselves as described in scripture, whether as Saints, siblings, offspring of God, joint heirs with Christ, or just plain disciples. The unique aspect of righteousness in Christ is that by being called, you learn to be in the right standing, have grace, and love as He loves. And nothing can change a person more than Jesus, by the Holy Spirit.
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