Many spouses use past offenses to justify their present anger, even though the same events may not have occurred. Grace is a priority effort in marriage since an opportunity for error is always present. That means, yes, we can forgive our spouses for what they did, but too often we do not, and because we don’t, we find those faults useful to justify anger in current events.
Grace is not a conveyor of past sins. This means that, by its very essence, God does not consciously accept them; thus, nothing about where we came from—sin and darkness—will ever impact the present or future under grace. All faults or sins present today must be dealt with just like those on the first day of one’s repentance before Jesus Christ. Through grace, His forgiveness is still available.
1 John 1:8-10 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 10 If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.
Whatever we confess and repent of is no longer held on our account because of His sacrifice. Another thing about grace is that it cannot fail in its purpose; it is still the same today, just as it was in the beginning, since God changes not; grace changes not. His grace for Noah is no different from the grace we receive in this dispensation of the Church age; He is the same God.
This brings up a question: Do we think we are better than God – keeping faults between us, even among believers, and never having grace? Could it be that we are not as forgiving of past errors as we think we are? The only way to know the truth in this is to learn to abide by God’s love and allow grace on one’s level of faith in and through Christ, to change the nature within.
Believing spouses who conflict over every issue in their daily lives because they do not understand that grace is in despair of its governing factors in the marriage. They are, by nature, dealing with everything as drama; you will find that grace is not present in this manner of living. Though it aligns with today’s social dogma, it is not the evidence of love through which grace flows.
Let us not forget the one thing common to all the creation of males and females: all have sinned and fallen short of the glory we were created to live. Since not one of us is presented with authority to judge the faults of others, it requires the forgiveness we have received through salvation in Jesus Christ, because grace is conveyed through God’s love
Rom 3:23 For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;
If God did not forgive, Christ’s suffering would not apply to your sin. Therefore, how do spouses enter this grace for one another that reflects forgiveness? It is through faith in Jesus Christ. One way to learn this is by the Spirit and the word: forgiving as God forgives. I know it sounds hard because we do not see ourselves in a Godly manner of character, but as we have learned, we are created to reveal His image.
Gen 1:27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.
One must be careful. Too often today, fake grace is propagated throughout some regions of the Church. Why do I call it fake grace? Simply because those who revel in it only do so to promote their religious stature, but it is in no way the proper manner of grace. Rather, it can be seen as dishonoring, making grace appear as if it is applied to perspectives not mentioned in Scripture, or possibly cutting off grace altogether.
Gal 5:4 (MSG) I suspect you would never intend this, but this is what happens. When you attempt to live by your own religious plans and projects, you are cut off from Christ, you fall out of grace.
Those who render favor under the guise of God’s grace do so to have profit and honor from others. Jesus said, they seek honor from each other and not from God. John 5:41-44 I receive not honour from men. 42 But I know you, that ye have not the love of God in you. 43 I am come in my Father’s name, and ye receive me not: if another shall come in his own name, him ye will receive. 44 How can ye believe, which receive honour one of another, and seek not the honour that cometh from God only?
How do we apply this to our marriage? Spouses who seek to bind the union by giving the other what they want all the time falsely build hope using what I call fake grace. Evidence of this is that conflicts quickly arise when either stops or changes what they do, as discourse follows, and discontent arises. Grace in unmeritorious deliverance is a favor that exists by faith in the one who gave it in the first place. And nothing about grace says you are to earn it from God or anyone else, but give it because it is given to you.
Grace should be evident in believers because of God’s favor for them; forgiving others’ past, present, and future faults, errors, mistakes, etc., is no longer a present stature by your faith in Christ. God loves us and predestines us to be adopted by Him through Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. He did this as an act of His will, or good pleasure, as He sought glorious praise of the grace that He gave us in His beloved Son. Therefore, if He in love abounded toward us in this grace, then we too are to abound in love toward others in grace.
2 Cor 8:7 Therefore, as ye abound in everything, in faith, and utterance, and knowledge, and in all diligence, and in your love to us, see that ye abound in this grace also.
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