If we discuss proprietary aspects of marriage, one significant issue to consider is the well-being of the union in the financial areas. It must be the first item on the list. Dealing with finances, or let’s call it the wealth and riches of marriage, requires both spouses and children of the age that affect the finances to be responsible for their part of any actions or inaction regarding it.
If we look at this from a beginning perspective, most do not discuss their financial wherewithal during courtship. If one or both have abundant money, they usually protect their wealth and assets from damage through a pre-nuptial agreement.
Couples often defer conversations about their financial history before marriage, as it reveals their efforts in handling personal responsibilities. Mistakes can devastate one’s economic well-being. If one is in financial distress or burdened with accumulated debt, it is a sign that they may have repeatedly made poor financial choices.
Naturally, finances affect a person, the marriage, and any level of trust within the covenants of God and marriage. In addition, various aspects of individual tendencies to do wrong in money matters can destroy the love between two spouses. On one end of the financial realm is a love of money that invokes lustful manners, while on the other, if no monetary resources are brought into the marriage, it affects the well-being of all.
Usually, spouses do not think alike concerning finances, but it must happen to ensure all efforts are working toward a sound financial portfolio. Getting there requires aligning to principles that are right in God’s sight. However, since most marriages have a diverse view of how money is handled, confusion occurs over responsibilities.
Often, conflict occurs over who has control or is willing to handle paying debts during the marriage, which can lead to issues that promote divorce, if only to get relief from creditors. I have personal experience; while fully capable of applying math to financial issues, I lived as I was raised early on. As a result, my nature regarding finances was not very stable, as I thought it was OK to apply my parents’ ideas of robbing Peter to pay Paul all the time.
This manner of financial commitment does not help one apply spiritually sound principles but instead contributes to constant conflicts over income vs. any outcome. However, for the sake of our marriage, I agreed with my wife, and she began handling our finances. This helped to reduce the conflicts but did nothing to change my nature regarding handling any financial issues.
One thing about humanity is that we do what is in our nature. So, I did as I saw fit or believed to be correct, which produced either right or wrong results regarding money matters within the marriage.
Keeping Money in the Right Place
With all that said, we need to bring the word of God into this matter so that a change of soul occurs in believers concerning finances and other issues as one who is now Christ-minded. So, since either spouse can be out of character with God’s way of thinking about financial issues, money can negatively influence one’s soul to the degree that it breeds conflict.
In my case, I needed to seek truth by His word to find out what is acceptable and pleasing to Him in this area. You notice I mention it must first be about what God wants us to do. If you do not change for Him, you will not change for them! Therefore, here are a few scriptures that helped me see the importance of thinking critically or spiritually about proprietary matters concerning marriage’s wealth and riches.
1 Tim 6:10 (AMP) For the love of money is a root of all evils; it is through this craving that some have been led astray and have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves through with many acute [mental] pangs. There are obvious dangers when humanity craves money. Though money is only a natural medium, it assists our engagement with this world’s economic systems. But elevating money to a higher plateau of provision than God’s sourcing can be dangerous.
Luke 16:13 (BBE) No man may be a servant to two masters: for he will have hate for the one and love for the other; or he will keep to the one and have no respect for the other. You may not be servants of God and of wealth. Two essential things relevant to wealth are in what is said here: One, God is to be your master, and nothing or no one else should be allowed to have that position. Second, you cannot serve God and money; it will be Him first or money first, but it is your choice.
Many have issues because they, as children of God, willingly serve money. How do believers serve money? It is straightforward. You direct your life by choices based solely on your financial ability. And not on God’s ability. This does not mean you should not be wise in using money; it means you may be living under its power. In other words, your life’s well-being is based on how much money you have or do not have. A life determined by how much money one has is not living by faith in God, who can do all things without it.
Now that we know this, another aspect is those who mistakenly discourse their resources by declaring faith concerning their financial status while waiting upon God for an increase that never came. They did this because they somehow garnered an error about the truth in scripture concerning His providing all our needs. Phil 4:19 But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. Many quit their jobs, placing their families in financial distress and jeopardizing everyone’s well-being. Second, they waited and waited and waited, and no money came. This foolishness resulted in their losing property, possessions, and sometimes family.
This does not mean God denied them any blessing; it just shows that they were immature in the truth concerning receiving it. There is a season for God’s blessings to be a part of your life, but timing is relevant to what He says, as everything depends on faith in how to do it using principles revealed in scripture by the Holy Spirit.
What is a Good Steward?
Luke 12:42 And the Lord said, Who then is that faithful and wise steward, whom his lord shall make ruler over his household, to give them their portion of meat in due season? The Lord reveals that most are unaware of what it takes to be a good steward. Again, faithfulness plays a significant role in this issue, as it sets the path for whose goods you are committed to taking care of. Wisdom is necessary in overseeing the distribution of blessings concerning goods that do not belong to you.
Luke 16:8-9 (MSG) Now here’s a surprise: The master praised the crooked manager! And why? Because he knew how to look after himself. Streetwise people are smarter in this regard than law-abiding citizens. They are on constant alert, looking for angles, surviving by their wits. 9 I want you to be smart in the same way—but for what is right—using every adversity to stimulate you to creative survival, to concentrate your attention on the bare essentials, so you’ll live, really live, and not complacently just get by on good behavior.”
It is strange how the Lord gave such a positive gesture to this servant’s ability to work the world’s economic system, especially since he is no longer a steward of His goods. He says that the smart way you perceive all possible paths to profit is how you should have been wise in doing creatively for what was right in your stewardship.
Luke 16:11-12 (BBE) If, then, you have not been true in your use of the wealth of this life, who will give into your care the true wealth? 12And if you have not been true in your care of the property of other people, who will give you that which is yours? God is all about giving blessings, but there are standards applied to get it to you and others.
An issue regarding wealth and riches is that many marriages do not do well with what they have right now from the Lord. Wealth is not always about money; though it is significant, it is not the core item the Lord looks at. He has given us many things, already a part of our inheritance far exceeding money’s ability. It starts with the fact that we are more valuable to Him than anything else.
The previous statement is grounded in the truth that Christ is the foundation of salvation. He died to make us His own. He spent everything He had, not in the manner of money but in life. God is into life; that is what He does: create life. Though Christ died for us, giving way to death, He rose from the dead so that we might have life as God has determined. We need to know that we have to reveal life just as He has purposed it to be, so when we squander our life by doing things that take it away from us, we are not good stewards.
Stewardship can consist of anything from how we care for our whole being, which means our spirit, soul, and body, to how we use money and any material goods He provides. Something important to know is that engaging sinfully destroys the very life we are to live. Because sin is a direct fault of the curse and life removal, thus it destroys life, which He created to be in us. As His children, we are to try to do good in His sight constantly, yet we often fail when caring for ourselves and others.
Eph 2:10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them. Marriage is where the best of what each has to offer can be seen regarding whom we belong. God views marriage as the Holy Spirit’s training ground.
I know you are tilting your head and trying to wrap your mind around it. But the truth is there is no other place where such intimacy by the Spirit of God will occur at a level of supernatural presence. While the church is religiously viewed as the only place of worship, it is not. God ordained your marriage to be His dwelling place for the Spirit of God’s activity more than any church building, which is essential to your spiritual growth. I know that cuts right across what leadership has told you, but you need to live according to God’s purpose of marriage, not man’s.
Another detail is that if you treat your spouse differently than with Agape love, you devalue them. So, just because you do not see your home as a place where God will do His best for you and your offspring does not mean it is not valid. This is an issue that gets right to the Father’s heart. He wants His children to see value in each other just as He does. Your spouse is the one asset you have above all others to impact blessings for your covenant, but if you do not see them as such, you are working against God’s purpose for your marriage.
Believers must recall His faithfulness to know He sees them perfectly by faith and expects them to see others the same way. Thus, being a good steward means seeing His creation as He does: a prized and valued possession.
Today’s pulpits, however, raise sin and accept it through worldly preambles at a level that denies your valued life in terms that God accepts.